I give myself the love I’m worthy of

By Mmatsie. I completed my BA Honours Degree in Strategic Communication in 2016. I was working and studying at the same time. During my last year when me and my group were presenting our projects I started having headaches and would be anxious because the thought of standing in front of a group terrified me. The headaches persisted and would get worse especially when I stress about studying and also dealing with my work. I ended up going to my GP who said that I am depressed and I told him that I don’t feel depressed. He told me that I need to deal with issues in my life that are bothering me but I didn’t take him seriously I thought if I finish my honours I’m going to be okay. But the headaches persisted even in 2017 I can only sleep for four to five hours at night, my body temperature has changed during winter time I was sleeping with just a T-shirt and a throw cause I would get hot. I don’t feel confident as I used to be. I studied communication because I wanted to change my career as a Personal Assistant but now I have the qualification but I’m not confident enough to go out there and create a career path for myself. I was in a brief relationship with a colleague and found out that he is getting married, that hurt me to a point where I decided that I don’t want to be a relationship ever again. I don’t trust myself with choosing a partner who’s deserving to be with me. So I decided to focus on loving myself and giving my self the compassion, kindness, forgiveness and understanding that I know I am worthy of. It a daily fight that I am willing to fight.